I just got back from my best friend in high school's cookout. He is one of the most special people I ever met. I think he has aged like a fine wine. It's hard to even explain how awesome he is.
It could be that he likes jeet kune do and is sensitive to women and people of color. It could be that he throws on a mean grill, makes insanely perfect pancakes and always knows the perfect moment to play Pink Floyd. Honestly, it breaks my heart that I was never in love with him in high school. By all laws of realism and good in the world, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN. He's irresistibly adorable and has the whole Justin Timberlake look going. It just never happened that way.
Seeing him again after many months of not seeing him and then there we were at our high school reunion brought back so many memories. Especially tonight, just hanging out with him, helping him get ready for the party was truly blissful. I love the easy comraderie after years and years of struggles and this and that... emotional gut-wrenching wrestling. I truly love him all my heart. It feels like true agape, a pure sibling love. He's so awesome. He's perfect. And I hate myself for not being in love with him. I hate myself for going against the natural order of things. I have so much regret and nostalgia for what was and what never will be.
I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and hurt you over and over. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry life was so confusing and we didn't know anything about anything when we were 16.
If I could give anything, it would be to see you dance at your first wedding with your beautiful wife and to be able to dance with you at mine. I'm truly blessed to have you as a friend and while we're not best friends anymore, you will always be my best friend from then. Those memories are crazy and confusing but I would never trade them in for anything. It's made me who I am, just like you made me who I am. I probably have influenced you too. That's the beautiful thing about friendships. We create one another and create ourselves through each other as our lives weave
It could be that he likes jeet kune do and is sensitive to women and people of color. It could be that he throws on a mean grill, makes insanely perfect pancakes and always knows the perfect moment to play Pink Floyd. Honestly, it breaks my heart that I was never in love with him in high school. By all laws of realism and good in the world, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN. He's irresistibly adorable and has the whole Justin Timberlake look going. It just never happened that way.
Seeing him again after many months of not seeing him and then there we were at our high school reunion brought back so many memories. Especially tonight, just hanging out with him, helping him get ready for the party was truly blissful. I love the easy comraderie after years and years of struggles and this and that... emotional gut-wrenching wrestling. I truly love him all my heart. It feels like true agape, a pure sibling love. He's so awesome. He's perfect. And I hate myself for not being in love with him. I hate myself for going against the natural order of things. I have so much regret and nostalgia for what was and what never will be.
I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and hurt you over and over. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry life was so confusing and we didn't know anything about anything when we were 16.
If I could give anything, it would be to see you dance at your first wedding with your beautiful wife and to be able to dance with you at mine. I'm truly blessed to have you as a friend and while we're not best friends anymore, you will always be my best friend from then. Those memories are crazy and confusing but I would never trade them in for anything. It's made me who I am, just like you made me who I am. I probably have influenced you too. That's the beautiful thing about friendships. We create one another and create ourselves through each other as our lives weave
