I watched Lucas last night. I really wanted to go snowboarding on the hill, but once I saw Corey Haim's cute, nerdy little face gawking at cute untouchable girls, I was totally hooked. It's probably something only people who grew up in the 80s can understand, the stupid and predictable story lines, the football player jocks and cheerleaders, versus the nerdy, weird outcasts, and of course, being tormented for being different. I didn't think much about it after it was over. I mean, it had a pretty good ending with Lucas being knocked around on the football field, after he joins the team to try to impress a girl. This was no Facing The Giants! It was actually pretty realistic!
Anyway, I woke up this morning after having a dream with random high school people in it, one of them used to be my best friend. And I felt this odd sense of peace come over me. I've been praying a LOT over the past five years to get healing about relationships and memories from high school, and oddly enough, I feel like God answered my prayers! It only took me 18 years!!! Ha ha ha. I think it's cool to be different, to always march to your own beat, to break the mold, to be yourself, and I can say, I was always myself in high school. Most of the time. C'mon. It's high school.
I'm proud of myself, for standing up to the bullies, for having the courage to fail, but also the ambition and drive to succeed. It's all good: the regrets, embarrassments, friendships, relationships, the highs, the lows, the good, bad and the ugly. The people who were mean, the people I WAS MEAN to, I pray that they can forgive me as I can forgive those who have hurt me. God is so good. He truly is the ultimate healer. And I can say, I never thought this day would come. It's always like that after a dark snowstorm when the power goes out, there is a beautiful sunny day when the sun is shining and all is bright. Life is good. For those of you who are in my life now, I feel so blessed to be in the sunshine and warmth of your love.
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