Date with Jesus

"Grace is God...with salvation comes an invitation to join in with the Trinity as part of their eternal community of love. And with it, the offer to enjoy intimate fellowship that surpasses what is possible in the best of marriages." -Falling for God (Saying yes to His extravagant Proposal)

Aaaaaah yes. Dinner with Jesus. I've been neglecting my lover. Is that okay to write? Yes, he is the lover and protector of my soul, but it feels so scandalous to say it. I've been neglecting you Jesus. I talk about you non-stop, like my friend who left the country to travel around the world. But no. You're right here with me, and you've never left. You never left. But I neglected you. never spend time with you. Even on the Sabbath, our Date Nights! Hm. Guess you were right all this time. I was never ready for a husband. I can't even make time for the one I have!

But I've done some marriage counseling and I'm ready to renew my vows for you. The rate of divorce in second marriages is 60%, and I'd NEVER want to go out with Allah, Buddha, or Vishnu. You're worth it. You're worth everything to me. Yes, I want to declare my love for you, hopeless, reckless, carefree love. I want to fall in love with you all over again. Maybe I won't feel like a teenager, but it'll probably mature into another kind of love. Deeper, stronger, more powerful than anything I've ever known. I'm ready to dive in again.

Spinning out of control

Do you ever have one of those days when everything seems to be spinning out of control? I know I should be running to Jesus, but instead I zone out with watching 4 hours of television. Pretty wretched. guess it's odd for me to feel feelings. Like being alone. Not filler time, but just me. Alone. I kind of like it. I guess in a way, it's not an unusual experience. We're all alone, even if we have significant others & friends. There's quiet, still space, where it's just you. And God. If you let Him in. Sometimes even I forget to let Him in, to give Him complete control. And just be still with Him. No worship music, no books. Just me and Him. Best friends. The one who never lets us down. He's always there for us. In a way that NO other human can! :) I need you Jesus. Fol this gaping bleeding gash in my heart. Heal me, Lord, of heartache & quiet desperation.